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Being a 23 year old man and still a virgin seems to require an explanation.
I don’t know if it’s my confidence. I don’t know if it’s that people generally consider me attractive. But people simply assume that I’m not a virgin. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a 23 year old dude. You know what, forget the age. I think it’s just because I’m a dude.
You’re probably reading this and are amazed yourself. So, here’s a backstory. I was a Christian practicing celibacy and any girlfriend I had was also a celibate Christian. Well, except one. She suffered from a sexual pain disorder which turned her vagina into Gandalf from Lord of the Rings screaming, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”, and my penis into Balrog falling into the abyss as Gandalf destroys the bridge. One might infer that, judging the size of Balrog and comparing that to my penis might be me suggesting that I am also making a comparison in size. Well, this is not the forum for that. I have a Twitter account where you can get all the giant, mammoth-y, fiery whip-wielding details. But I digress.
We live in a society where to be virgin and male is strange and people (men, especially) wonder if there’s something wrong with you, forgetting that it could simply be a matter of choice. Unfortunately, once you bring that up people wonder why the hell would you choose to not have sex? Even if you have had sex before, and then later made the choice to be celibate, people think that you’re a moron. “Have your testicles descended? Yes? Time to have sex, son. Shut up. We’re going to the strip club, but first I have to stop at the bank.”
It seems that the onus falls on the promiscuous friend(s) to get the virgin friend some tail. And while I appreciate it guys, I really do, the truth is, I really don’t.
I’m not Christian anymore, but I still think there’s a point in waiting. There’s a discipline involved. There’s something to look forward to. And I think I might have grown out of that stage where you want to have sex with every hot girl you see. I don’t want to have sexual partners that characterize a certain era, because I just don’t want to be that close to you and then we endure the awkward stage of post-breakup. Awkwardness will ensue, but it’d be even more awkward, I imagine. I can only imagine, since I am a virgin.
Assuming an identity is the same as prejudice. It’s just that “prejudice” carries a certain heavy connotation, when in reality it simply means you pre-judged. You took me at face value. You judged the book by its cover. You saw a guy and assumed that he’s like all the others.
I will say this though. When men just assume that you’re not a virgin, it’s A LOT better than when they find out that you’re a virgin. And some girls, when you tell them that you are celibate, they revere you, but you probably won’t get to have sex with them.
You know what? Don’t tell anybody!
Read more: I Thought You Were Like a Ken Doll, By Daniel Jones
Image credit: Foxtongue/Flickr
