Don’t lie to yourself.
Although it may be obvious that we shouldn’t lie to others, lying to ourselves can be just as bad — sometimes even worse. And it can also be harder to keep track of because there’s no one to hold us accountable.
This is especially relevant when looking at issues like how we see ourselves, our goals, ambitions, and expectations, and the methods that we will use in pursuing those.
For example: if you are trying to live a certain way, and you give yourself a rule or a plan, such as “I’m only going to spend one hour on social media each day” — then stick to that. Don’t make excuses for trivial things you’re trying to quit.
People have a habit of making exceptions to their own rules. They get into a bad habit with it, and they never actually make progress with their goals. They come up with a great idea but don’t follow through.
It’s ultimately all about discipline. But it’s not so much about hard work per se. You don’t even necessarily have to work that hard, you just need to work consistently, effectively, with focus and intention.
…
Take yourself seriously and honor your commitments if you care about them.
And you need to uphold your own personal accountability. It’s not that hard to do simple things consistently over time to achieve goals. What’s hard is holding yourself accountable to the promises you make for yourself.
Give yourself the chance to follow through. And if you fail at it once, don’t fall off the wagon altogether and give up. Steer yourself back on track.
Prove to yourself that you’re serious. Otherwise, you’ll only create bad accountability with yourself. It will become a pattern, a habit, and you will end up dealing with yourself as if you were a child.
And children don’t get adult results — they get childish results. So you’ll never move past the stage of a child if you can’t set some priorities, limits, and guidelines for yourself.
…
You will split into a child and an adult self. The adult sets the rules, and the child breaks them.
And that’s really no different from any other relationship. If you get into the consistent pattern of setting up plans and promises for yourself that you continue to break and discount, then you’re simply fueling your own charade.
Although it’s very human to do this, it’s important to understand that it’s one of the defining features about being disciplined versus undisciplined.
When people think of discipline, they picture someone working vigorously for hours on end, doing backbreaking or mind-numbing, detailed work until they’re pulling their hair out.
But it’s not about that at all! It’s simply about doing something once, discovering that it works, and then repeating that, as a habit.
Once the habit becomes a functional routine that you’re accountable for, you can completely change your approach to life. That’s how you will take control of yourself and your vices.
…
Learning the hard way through failure.
I’m someone who has struggled massively with things like addiction — whether it be to drugs, alcohol, sex, fighting, the internet, and so on and so forth. I’ve also managed to become highly successful in certain avenues because I stuck with them in simple, small, yet devoted ways, over a very long period of time.
Examples include teaching myself to play the piano (I’m now a professional pianist and teacher) and becoming a blogger on Medium (a skill which took years to develop).
You can teach yourself almost anything. But you need to be realistic about it. You need a plan for how you’re going to follow through on that. Otherwise, it won’t be sustainable, you’ll continue to let yourself off the hook and fall back into your usual habits.
And the key to it is meaning what you say to yourself and following through. If you do something once, ask yourself — ok, can I keep doing this? Am I ready to repeat this, as a habit and routine, for the long term?
Because unless you can do that, your success and progress will be fleeting. I’m only successful because I have learned to follow through.
Do you struggle with moderation? Social media platforms like Facebook and Reddit are among the most addictive things in the world. So what can we do about it?
…
We must limit ourselves.
Because no one else will do it for us! It doesn’t have to be black and white, all-or-nothing. I found that when I tried to quit altogether, I became resentful, and I would relapse. Then I would feel ashamed about relapsing.
Some things that are addictive, we don’t need to quit at all! We just need moderation. By we also need to stick with it strictly and take it seriously.
After years of trying to find a middle ground, I finally decided to myself, that I would go on exactly once per day. I give myself a window of about an hour or so to go on Facebook and Reddit.
And that’s all the time I get! I don’t check it again for the entire day. Now, think about how different that is from habtis I’ve had previously, where I would be literally checking it throughout the day, constantly.
…
Organization. Structure. Discipline.
I think we don’t realize just how few rules we have for ourselves that we follow through on. It’s like we don’t take discipline seriously when it’s about things that don’t seem to matter much.
But it really does! Organization and structure are extremely important in our lives. A little bit goes a long way.
I always work out on the treadmill at least once every few days. This means that I stay in decent shape even if I indulge in heavy foods. I always give myself the chance to sleep as much as I need to once I start to hit burn out. I continue to practice the piano almost every day despite the fact that I’m already very advanced.
I continue to write articles on Medium so I don’t lose inspiration, whether or not I’m earning money from them or not.
The trick here is not to rest on your laurels, even when you’re at a high level. Continue to stay disciplined and stay humble. Don’t just give yourself license to do whatever you want, beause then you could spiral out of control.
We only have so much time on our hands, so it’s necessary to be focused and deliberate about what we do.
Live with intention and purpose. Small changes over time become huge. This is your life, you only get one shot at it. Let’s do it right!
…
Thanks for reading my article. I hope you enjoyed it. If you would like to receive an email anytime I publish, please subscribe here.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
Does dating ever feel challenging, awkward or frustrating?
Turn Your Dating Life into a WOW! with our new classes and live coaching.
Click here for more info or to buy with special launch pricing!
***
—–
Photo credit: Md Mahdi on Unsplash
The post Master These Critical Tips for a Better Chance at a Happy and Successful Life appeared first on The Good Men Project.